Things That Make Me Feel Good

Long conversations with people I care about. We dont have to agree but we respect each other's opinions. When my friends come to visit or I go visit them and we watch dvds, eat pizza, popcorn and laugh together until my stomach hurts.
Listening to the rain in the middle of the night and curling into a ball, knowing I'm warm and safe and tomorrow is Saturday or Sunday.
Dressing up in my sexy high heels and putting on my make-up - excitement bubbling in my tummy - loving the thought of painting the town red.
Being with my family and knowing I belong.
Friday afternoon, leaving work to start my weekend.
Playing with a puppy or a kitten.
Preparing a meal for my family or my friends.
Reaching my goals.
The sun waking me up with birds chirping and feeling rested after a good night's sleep.
Realizing how lucky I am.
Being an independent woman.
Crying because I'm happy or after watching a soppy movie that touched me.
Clean sheets and towels out of the tumble dryer.
When I find money in my pocket that I forgot about.
When someone tells me they miss me or loves me or that they appreciate me unexpectedly.
New shoes.
New clothes.
New hairstyle.
When I realize how strong I really am.
When I help someone.
When someone helps me.
A box of chocolates.
Smelling the ocean on a hot Summer's night.
Falling in love.
Being true to myself.
A hot shower after a long day.
Being home and feeling safe.
Laughing at myself.
Hot chocolate on a very cold day.
Good memories and bumping into good old friends.
Making people laugh or smile.
Being creative and getting an outlet for it.
Learning everyday - building my knowledge.
Feeling satisfied and grateful.
Being able to pay off my debt.
Eating out and good company.
Being productive and solving the problem.
Praying.
Breathing.
Living.
Loving.

Wise Words

I can't remember where I read/got this, but whenever I page through my old diary, that I used to keep through my varsity years, I realize how wise and true this simple message really is. I wish to share it with everyone...




UNDERSTAND THAT HAPPINESS IS NOT A CONSTANT STATE!
If you have moments of happiness, savour them. You have to feel sadness to enjoy those times when everything seems right. Being content is all about accepting this.
Take pleasure in the small things - sunshine on your skin, contagious laughter, a dramatic thunderstorm, energetic music... they ease the soul.

I Keep Hoping

Sometimes I feel so weak. Burdened with responsibilities and doing the right thing, being an example to my peers and maintaining my lifestyle and the image I am portraying to the world. And then there are those times when I just want to let go. When I just want to forget about all the heavy burdens and pain life has dealt me and when I just want to fly far away. And then I let myself go, I let myself soar, I forget about the restrictions of everyday life and enjoy the freedom I get to taste - if only for a little while.

But these moments have consequences and a rather expensive price to pay sometimes. You get punished for your need to be free. You get punished for stepping out of your box. By people, by institutions, by the law, by yourself.

Once upon a time, I believed that I would never apologise for being happy and making myself happy but somehow, somewhere things have changed and I find myself apologising all the time! And suddenly I can't trust anyone. The more people I surround myself with, the more unsure I become of their motives and my path. It corrupts me on the inside - not being able to trust anyone. It makes me paranoid and it disrupts my focus because I can't be happy with someone whom I don't trust.

All I'm hoping for is that I'll be able to find a path towards my happiness, towards sanity, towards freedom. Without feeling guilty (which is also a price one pays) and without being punished for going after what I need and what I crave and what I think I deserve.

Fwends

Spending some time with my two best friends over the weekend really meant a lot to me. Especially since we haven't been spending any time together as of late. My girls are a part of me and they keep me grounded. No matter where I am in life or how much my life has changed, being with them brings me back home and allows me to be that innocent school girl who slowly became a woman with them guiding me through it. Together we figured things out and tried to give advice to one another. We discovered that the similarities that bonded us suddenly tore us apart and that being different from each other was not such a bad thing after all. Our opinions changed, our bodies changed, our lives changed but our friendship remained the same apart from the necessary bumps along the way. Yes, I think those bumps were necessary to make our bond stronger. I don't know what I would have done without my friends but I also realise that it's okay to be an individual and make different decisions. And being with them again this weekend, just corroborated that fact for me. And I think all that's left to say now is that I WUF YOU GUYS and FWENDS FOREVER!

Note to Self

In life we get choices and those choices lead you where you want to go and what you want to make of your life. Don't let your choice ruin your destination. Take your time to think about every situation carefully before you make a decision. Stay positive and focused on what you want and if you have made a mistake, try not to make the same mistake again.

Temptation is everywhere but you know out of experience that what burned you once will probably burn you again. So before you cross, look and think twice - this is your life we're talking about. You create your own destiny - don't let one stupid mistake ruin it all for you. Take charge and don't let past mistakes haunt you.

Be lead by Him and have faith. He already knows what's waiting for you and He has prepared you. Leave you hang-ups and take a leap, take the next step and open the door. Let the future begin and leave the bad in the past. It has served its purpose and it is done.

I Forgot...

It's all about how you look at a situation, which determines how you deal with it or react to it. For example, I could get really frustrated about lying here and not being able to fall asleep again. But I can also see it as an opportunity to think things through which are bothering me or writing this note, making other people realise that perception is everything.

Someone told me yesterday I should just think positively about things and good things will come my way and I realised when this year started that had been my goal - to think positive and I was doing great until something bad happened to me. I focused on that bad thing and wasted energy on it. That one bad thing dragged me down and I started obsessing about it and my negative reaction to it. I wanted to explore it and get to the root of it. And because of that I forgot about the positive stuff in my life. The one negative thing dominated my thoughts, my actions and how I felt about myself. I forgot that all I had to do was believe... Believe in who I am, what I am and what I can do. You're going to feel bad about stuff if you look at it in a negative way - if you feel that it reflects negatively on you. Try to look at the bright side, like I'm trying to do now.

Things are never as bad as you think they are. In your reality, you can change the way you feel and the way you see things. Sometimes when I'm having a nightmare and it gets really bad and I get really scared, I tell myself that this can't be real, this is a dream and then I take control and change everything. The same with our realities we live in, we need to take control - I need to take control, starting today. It's hard but it is not good to obsess about bad things happening to you. Bad things will always happen to you, its how you handle those negative things that makes the difference. If you linger on the bad things and think about them all the time, it will consume you. Move on and try to put a positive spin on it. Linger on the good things. Shift your focus to the positive things in your life. I think it's human nature to embrace the bad and to lean towards the negative and I think it takes great discipline and commitment to work on yourself and focus on the good. Just keep reminding each other that good will always conquer bad and that its not worth it to dwell on the bad.